1. |
Smokescreen
03:12
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Smokescreen
I can't see anything in here
but I can hear you calling for help
I can't breath
Carbon in my lungs is drowning me
And I don't want to leave here alone
If I stayed
Grasping for you silhouette in fear
we will both turn to dust
and no one's left to miss us
Nightshade
the moon is gone but fire illuminates
i feel the earth begin to shake
I can't sleep
the visions of your face
still haunting me
I can't wait til you're erased.
If I stayed
grasping for your silhouette in fear
we will both turn to dust,
and no one's left to miss us.
Some day,
We can only hope they find
the grace of our love
So have faith.
Day breaks
the earth still spins
as we both float away,
and die like embers from a flame.
And the stars fade
constellation fables flee the skies.
Our heroes left
we will not cry.
If I stayed
grasping for your silhouette in fear
we will both turn to dust,
and no one's left to miss us.
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2. |
Come Find Me
04:30
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Shouting ocean waves crush me on the shore.
The beach goes blurry and I can't hear anymore.
Focus hard on keeping a stoic face.
Grit my teeth and bear the pain.
Don't just stand there and watch me bleed.
Oh, wait it's coming back to me.
You're the one who held the knife,
and swiped it at me for my whole life.
Spend all my time building high castle walls
Knowing full well one day they'll all dissolve.
Block any invaders with the deepest moat.
Impending high tide coming in; Hope I can still float.
Don't just stand there and watch me bleed.
Oh, wait it's coming back to me.
You're the one who held the knife,
and swiped it at me for my whole life.
When you look in my eyes what do you see?
Can you tell that I feel broken and unclean?
Guilty of everything I've ever done,
and of all the things yet to come?
Oh, just take me by my hands,
and tell me you understand.
Splash cold water on my face,
the shock might wake me from this place.
I patch myself up
Then shut myself out
to wait for these wounds to heal
I don't need your help.
Don't just stand there
Come find me.
Send out all the search parties,
but I know I can't be found;
I covered up all my tracks on the way down.
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3. |
Collapse Into Me
03:49
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Down a city street
into its gutter
a paper crane floated
proudly on rain water
it’s wings mint green
holding strong against the dampening
inspires nostalgia
of great big somethings
Blinding bright
Traffic lights
Shimmer in the mist
Deafening sound of falling ice
lets me scream and pound the earth with my fists
in control ‘til i’m not
Here one moment and vanished in the same
before breath can be caught
or it given a name
It's that feeling of forgetfulness
lingering until it is not
electricity lighting up you brain
until the fog comes and kills the thought
Blinding bright
Traffic lights
Shimmer in the mist
Deafening sound of falling ice
lets me scream and pound the earth with my fists
in control ‘til i’m not
I just want to feel you
Collapse into me
Soft skin on soft skin
real and not just memory
You made me feel like the future would never come
But the rushing waters proved
my wings were not so strong
Blinding bright
Traffic lights
Shimmer in the mist
Deafening sound of falling ice
lets me scream and pound the earth with my fists
in control ‘til i’m not
Though your structure may suggest
you could escape your fate
flap your wings to fly away
and escape from the drain
you ride the wave out
attracted to the notion of demise
frozen from reacting fast
afraid of ruining this rush
finally feeling alive
Blinding bright
Traffic lights
Shimmer in the mist
Deafening sound of falling ice
lets me scream and pound the earth with my fists
in control ‘til i’m not
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4. |
Love, Anyways
04:53
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Hey let's talk
Just you and me
Don't need no lights,
Don't want to see.
Your soft voice
Tickles my ear
Your warm breath steals me,
Subdues my fear.
It's nights like these I'll have to miss
When the sun comes up,
And real life begins.
I'm in no rush to get home
The loneliness just tears at my bones.
I'm telling you
to keep your heart at bay.
You don't deserve
Love, anyway.
Make no change
Complain anyways
Then act bitter
because everything's the same
Make no change
Complain anyways
Then act bitter
because everything's the same
Your small words
Hold the most weight
Hit me the hardest;
Make me shake.
I remember when
I told you I
Would tear us down to our very end
You looked so unsure
proud of disbelief
all bright colours radiating free
Now all i have
is the satisfaction
of my accurate prediction
I'm telling you
to keep your heart at bay.
You don't deserve
Love, anyway.
Make no change
Complain anyways
Then act bitter
because everything's the same
Make no change
Complain anyways
Then act bitter
because everything's the same
Forget these winter pains
Black out every night
Pretend its helping out
And life's a winning fight
Try not to think about
The ones that went away
And how much i miss you
How much i miss you
How much i miss you
And now spring is here
It’s in the air
let the breeze
clear out winter’s despair
Feel the grass
soft beneath bare feet
yellow, green; shades all in between
Alive again
freshly free to roam
yet these blue skies still don’t feel like home
I'm telling you
to keep your heart at bay.
You don't deserve
Love, anyway.
Make no change
Complain anyways
Then act bitter
because everything's the same
Make no change
Complain anyways
Then act bitter
because everything's the same
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5. |
By Forever
02:54
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Yellow flashing late night sparks
Traffic control
anti-gold
ignored,
rolled,
ran through.
Think of how I was told
I could just come home
but the streets look all the same
there as they do here,
and I forgot the landmarks late last year.
Things won't get much better sometime soon,
But by forever I'll feel something new.
I saw a new stranger
In a dream last night
Who looked as though
they loved me all their life
I said we should marry
just to get divorced
I long for the feeling of loss
can you bring that too?
Their hands dissolved into sand
and the desert grew.
Things won't get much better sometime soon,
But by forever I'll feel something new.
The sinking sands
Hold me in my place,
But from here
I can feel the warm waves
I don't want to stay up late anymore
cause bright days are at my door.
I wish the sky was clear
and the moon invisible
Then when I stare into space I could see it too
Watch the flittering little embers
It's a candle lit graveyard
I could bring gasoline to catch their spark
But the amber waves just extinguish the stars.
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6. |
Rosemary
04:23
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The way towards the well is blocked
Good thing we’ve got our water stocked
Tell me not to
work so hard
On clearing out the stones from the backyard
I know they were
your favorite part
but now like you they must depart
I go to find
water to drink
I want to watch it spiral in the sink
rosemary
rosemary
sticking in my teeth
i’ll weave a crown of you
declare myself your king
spring time
spent inside
bright things bloom
stay colour blind
monochrome
days come and go
heat permeates
through closed windows
rosemary
rosemary
growing wild in the grass
i’ll make to you a path
and wear it down real fast
crave hunger
hope summer
comes soon and things get better
hear terse tones
rhythmic moans
synchronous empathy
in everyone i know
rosemary
rosemary
your scent now boils my blood
to me you were the dove
to you i was the flood
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7. |
Substance
03:31
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i saw the porch light on as i came to bail you out
from your prison
from your hell
you looked at me with those big evil eyeballs
what was i to say
who was there to blame
look at the sunlight as it dawns all around us
we spent all night here
we shouldn't fight here
And from the horizon your captors will see us
like smoke signals
burn the fire high
But i’ve come to the end of my rope with you
And i’m not going to keep fighting for you
If you push me away, i’ll go
and i’m not looking back
And on my worst nights who do i turn to
If i can't trust you
where do i turn
While you're consumed by your own substance
my substance
will have to do
But i’ve come to the end of my rope with you
And i’m not going to keep fighting for you
If you push me away, i’ll go
and i’m not looking back
But if i look back
What will i see
Will you remind me of the girl i met
When i was 17
Will i remember how great things were back then
before you disappoint me
All over again
But i’ve come to the end of my rope with you
And i’m not going to keep fighting for you
If you push me away, i’ll go
and i’m not looking back
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8. |
Yellow
05:07
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The moon is yellow
and the sky is clear
the stars are all invisible
but i still know they're there
I can feel your nails
digging into the tips of my fingers
when we stood in my front yard
with our hands pressed together
Sweat was building on my brow
the crickets screamed and chirped
a 3am orchestra composed for you and me
by the fat rich juicy breakfast of the birds
From your angled sight
I saw my distorted reflection
let that sink in a minute
as I tried to remember where I am
If i could pick just one moment to live in once I die
It'd be the one where I first noticed the colour
of your eyes
There's a lot of water pooling in the drainage ditch
I wonder if some poor creature has drowned in it
The ripples on the surface from the dancing playful wind
Are deceitful about that miserable murky world
and the monstrosities within
Thought I saw tears brimming in your eyes
but you said there was nothing wrong
Finally i've realized
My distrust here does not belong.
From your angled sight
I saw my distorted reflection
let that sink in a minute
as I tried to remember where I am
If i could pick just one moment to live in once I die
It'd be the one where I first noticed the colour
of your eyes
I've let things break down
and now i'm cast out
by my own volition
to see if you'll reach out
Two years have passed since i've had these dreams
we're now like strangers
roots grown away from the seed
I hardly remember why i felt so close to you
the loss still lingers and yellow has lost it's hue
there is not a day goes by your iris is gone from my mind
where I wonder if you wonder about me too
I'm sure some day your face will be hard to find
but I do hope it's not some day soon
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9. |
Low Rumble Roar
04:09
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A beaten up old car
It will run just fine
With Rust eating through the sides
Rotting in the yard
Get behind the wheel
and take it for a ride
but don’t go too far
be scared of what’s inside
Feel the rattling beneath
Vibrates your feet
Try to slam on the breaks
This was a mistake
It was only a grand
Only needs a little work
Hear the squeal, brace for impact
this is gonna hurt
Low rumble roar
Groan deep in the pit
Beyond pain find a void
But do nothing about it
Wake up alone
cold blind and nude
try to lift my flesh
but it doesn’t know how to move (but i can’t get it to move)
pass out again
don’t know when i come to
blinded by bright lights
stinging stabs my whole body through
think of the last thing
I saw before the crash
the iris of your eyes
burning bright like a match
and fear of what’s next
of the pain yet to bear
scratching sounds surface of the casket
finding another who really cares
Go numb
drink heavy
if you're going to pick up that knife
squeeze your hand tight
white knuckles keep it steady
Find all the corners I can cut
and hack them off
Spend worthy days in bed
Sleeping like life will never end
Low rumble roar
Groan deep in the pit
Beyond pain find a void
But do nothing about it
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10. |
Ideas With No Home
05:50
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a wave on an endless sea
with nothing to crash into
a deep feeling to scream
without a sound produced
a melody composed for the deaf
The sweet things I never said
All these thoughts left incomplete
Good and worthy in stages in between
something unfinished but potentially could be
and okay as is good enough for me
these are ideas with no home
They're just ideas with no home
All these thoughts left incomplete
Good and worthy in stages in between
something unfinished but potentially could be
and okay as is good enough for me
these are ideas with no home
i wish forever lasted longer
I want time to take a breather
clocks stop ticking
lights keep shining
find a place to take my future
(These are ideas with no home)
They're just ideas with no home
A puzzle piece of lavish lapis
with no borders to contain it
contextless emphasis
from its greater picture split
Abstract ornate image on its own
Help me find its way home
All these thoughts left incomplete
Good and worthy in stages in between
something unfinished. potentially could be
and okay as is good enough for me
these are ideas with no home
They're just ideas with no home
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Bear Madison, Wisconsin
B.S. History from University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Singer, Songwriter, Poetry Enthusiast.
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